Sexual fantasies are healthy

 

 

 

Erotic fantasies can sometimes be troubling. Many feel guilty if they imagine themselves in the arms of anyone but their partners, and dismayed at fantasising about things they wouldn’t dream of doing in real life. But these fantasies are actually essential for our personal development and wellbeing, and let us escape our problems in daily life.

Where do sexual fantasies come from?

Your sexual awakening takes place long before you become sexually active. The erotic scenarios that formed in your mind years before will already have shaped your sexuality. Teenage fantasies will often stay with you as an adult, and the unrealistic scenarios that arouse you will be based on a photo, story or novel that excited you in the past.

 

Scenarios and sexual emotions are intrinsically connected in the mind. As a result, when you imagine a scenario you will automatically arouse certain feelings. The link between them is anchored in memories. The trigger is more or less random, and young teenagers who are still ignorant about adult sexuality have less understanding of what arouses them.

Are sexual fantasies immoral?

There are many different kinds of fantasy. Sexual fantasies can be based around violence and submission or, in contrast, tenderness and affection. They can include different sex acts, different sexual positions, multiple partners, swinging, homosexuality, voyeurism and exhibitionism. People can also imagine themselves alone, with a real life partner, someone famous, a stranger or anyone.

 

Your fantasies might seem shocking and immoral, but are they really any different from children pretending to shoot their friends or cheating at Monopoly? Make-believe, whether it’s childish or sexual, can’t be judged in the same way as reality.

Sexual fantasies are good for you

All the scenarios we fantasise about voluntarily, or are unconsciously drawn to, play a fundamental role in our ability to become sexually aroused. By triggering erotic sensations, our recurring fantasies allow us to escape our daily problems.

Sexual fantasies often make up for what’s missing in real life, too. We can experience what we can’t have in reality through the imagination, and experiment with things that scare or fascinate us. As a rule, fantasies are an essential part of our sex lives that help keep us healthy and balanced.